My new boob

No I haven’t had reconstruction, but I did collect my new prosthesis yesterday. My old one split and the gel started to come out of the old one so I had to put it in a plastic bag and go on wearing it until the new one was sent out from my main hospital to the hospital in the town where I live. Yesterday I became the proud new owner of the boobie prize. I would have got it earlier, but the big hospital had sent it out without the name of the new owner on it. My sister-in-law works at the local hospital so I called her on Thursday evening to enquire if there was a lost boob wandering the corridors and wards of the local hospital, and indeed there was.

Of course it comes in a fuchsia pink box, nothing subtle about this baby, and there inside was The Boob 2. The other one had lasted me almost exactly 6 years, which is not bad going and the new boob just doesn’t quite have the same personality as the old one. One question has just sprung to mind though … is The Boob 1 biodegradable … can it be recycled … how should I dispose of it? Could it find a new life as part of a Halloween costume; after all it is the right time of year. Could I turn it into a pin cushion? Could it come back as a bag, or a fleece, or any of the other things they do to recycle things these days. Where do old boobs go when they are past their best? Crickey, I hadn’t though of what happens to old boobs, or what it will do to my attempts to be ‘Green’ and environmentally friendly.

Maybe this is a reason why I have been so depressed recently. I am mourning the loss of a boob that has been part of my life for 6 years.


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