“A wise soul opens the window to the future by closing the doors to the past.”

Is it really possible to close a door on the past? After all the past can be so familiar and the future so unknown, and if you have cancer it can also be scary. Living in the present moment is the wisest way to live. From here you can learn to cherry-pick from the past and to view the future in soft focus, rather than setting definite goals, so it is more flexible.

Closing the door on the past is easier said than done. I can do it most of the time, but when I get upset, anxious, stressed and depressed it can still come back to overwhelm me. Heaven only knows I wish it didn’t.

It rather surprised me when some people have said recently that I am so positive – me? Surely they are talking about someone else because that can’t possibly be me. Cancer has changed my life; how could it not? Maybe being positive is just living with what you have, good or bad, and being at peace with it. After all it is better to want what you have, rather than having what you want. I can’t change the things that have happened in my life and that most of it has been spent in depression and loneliness, but I have learned to accept that and, to a certain extent, to distance myself from that. What is the point in wasting even more time when it is in short supply. This is where I have found that Mindfulness has been so useful. The trouble is that none of this can be a quick-fix; there is not magic bullet. It takes practice and application, as do so many things about the MBC journey. It isn’t a matter of taking your medicine and hoping that will do the trick, it is also about making sure that you are taking it in the right way, and that it is the right medicine for you. Where I was and what I was doing contributed to the development of my cancer, so what is the point in staying there?


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